Worrying can cause divorce and break families.
When you can not change a person or a situation, what is the logical thing you should do ? Nothing.
Never try to change that person or that situation if it is out of your capacity or power.
Chose to be in "non-resistance" state.
One effective and tested method is to say to yourself that you had n the past sufferings and just by remembering their zero impact in the present will make you understand that this present full of worries will also become one day past and remembering the time you wasted when similar worries attacked you in the past will make you understand that it is useless to battle against the windmill like Don quichote. Accept completely whatever consequences that your life may bring you so that after every difficult time, your karmic debt wll only decrease. Meditate on the past when similar worries nagged you and how you could have avoded that impact that resulted in waste of time, that is, in waste of that time-part of your life. Imagine, if you go on wasting your todays in worrying, then what will be the balance sheet of your life ? A full waste of TIME.
You need not admit or accept what is happening if it is unjust but just make sure that you don't crumble under the pressure of external situation.
Be in the inner space comparable to an island, the perimeter of which huge waves constantly attack.
Be in the fortress from where you observe the cyclone sweep all trees and make the flood swell but amidst all this , remain a silent observer, untouched by those external calamities.
If you can not change something, is it logical to worrry about it ? Or, can your "worrying" make events happen as you want ?
No, what will happen will happen and your "input of worry" will not create always what you desire deep inside you.
Only, constant worrying will make you age quicker and loose your health faster.
If you are the sole bread-winner of your family, it will only make one more widow.
Or, one more useless and unwanted conflict in your family because the interior conflict of worry will sooner or latter will give birth to external conflicts..
Most often, your worry will be interpreted as lack of interest and responsability by your husband or your wife. So, hot words of crticism and accusations will result and distance will follow between you and your family. That distance will get growing as your "worryig " becomes a permanent "thought pattern" leading to a permanent divorce.
Learning to be happy even in hell is the only solution to prevent a divorce in your family due to your worry-filled mind.
Here is a simple test to detect if the pollution of worry has permeated through your pores or not : just observe your voice when you speak with your life-partner , if it shows the slightest irritation , that means you have let the external criminal enter in to your inner house and create havoc.
if you are not able to show love for someone , that is because worry has colonised your mental space and made peace and blisss as POW (prisonners of war).
You should be always be able to speak without raising your voice if you want to express gentle words.
Because, gentle words to your wife or husband means you are the winner and worry has been defeated. Another important point is even attachement to good things like listening to daily satsangs should not prevent you to take up in priority your daily routine family works with responsability. Give priority to fulfill the needs of your wife before even she tells and explains them in details. You should be aware of all needs of all persons who depend upon you in some way or other. In that way, you should give all your attention to cater to the daily needs (going to shopping, helping your child with her homework etc ) and then if at all you have time, then you can listen to, say satsangs or read bagavat Gita. But even those good habbits should not be a pretext to avoid your daily duties you should do to your family. If needed , pen down all those "anyakara" of your family and then meditate on them.
So, whenever you speak, do it only after having taken all precautions that your soul and mind had been soaked in the placid pool of peace and bliss and only that mental peace can guarantee and allow gentle words come out of your mouthe.
Until you know you can speak with love and smile , refrain from uttering a word. Isolate yourself and take your own time to calm down but until that moment, don't speak. Until you know that you are capable of gentle words, don' t meet people if it is possible. Cool down completely before speaking to anybody. Be in a state of unclutching. ( PLEASE see satsangs by SWAMI NITHYANANDA on this subject of "unclutching").
Speaking to yourself about something and repeating the same words is worrying. So, repeat to yourself " I stop repeating to myself the same words"; and slowly change that to " I stop speaking to myself ". Then , listen to te silence tat will follow in yor space. This way, you will stop the thought process. Worryng will get subdued drastically.
This way, you would have avoided sowing the seed of divorce in your family by blocking all doors of your mind to worry, one of the causes of family conflicts.
So, go on fulfilling the needs of your family and that will result in more and more love and bondage.
With love , you have peace to do better actions. It is a vertuous cycle.
Your meticulously and carefully preplanned and perfected actions will bring success.
Your success will bring you wealth, love, peace and confidence in you.
When your actions are tailored to bring peace, success and love, what more can you expect from life ?
In that joyful state , all "worries " will take the back door and escape in to the "nothingness".
So, the fundemental mantra is "work for your family first and then only for others. Go on fulfilling carefully all the "anyakara" of your life-partner , then life will work for you to make you free from nagging mental worries.
Never try to change that person or that situation if it is out of your capacity or power.
Chose to be in "non-resistance" state.
One effective and tested method is to say to yourself that you had n the past sufferings and just by remembering their zero impact in the present will make you understand that this present full of worries will also become one day past and remembering the time you wasted when similar worries attacked you in the past will make you understand that it is useless to battle against the windmill like Don quichote. Accept completely whatever consequences that your life may bring you so that after every difficult time, your karmic debt wll only decrease. Meditate on the past when similar worries nagged you and how you could have avoded that impact that resulted in waste of time, that is, in waste of that time-part of your life. Imagine, if you go on wasting your todays in worrying, then what will be the balance sheet of your life ? A full waste of TIME.
You need not admit or accept what is happening if it is unjust but just make sure that you don't crumble under the pressure of external situation.
Be in the inner space comparable to an island, the perimeter of which huge waves constantly attack.
Be in the fortress from where you observe the cyclone sweep all trees and make the flood swell but amidst all this , remain a silent observer, untouched by those external calamities.
If you can not change something, is it logical to worrry about it ? Or, can your "worrying" make events happen as you want ?
No, what will happen will happen and your "input of worry" will not create always what you desire deep inside you.
Only, constant worrying will make you age quicker and loose your health faster.
If you are the sole bread-winner of your family, it will only make one more widow.
Or, one more useless and unwanted conflict in your family because the interior conflict of worry will sooner or latter will give birth to external conflicts..
Most often, your worry will be interpreted as lack of interest and responsability by your husband or your wife. So, hot words of crticism and accusations will result and distance will follow between you and your family. That distance will get growing as your "worryig " becomes a permanent "thought pattern" leading to a permanent divorce.
Learning to be happy even in hell is the only solution to prevent a divorce in your family due to your worry-filled mind.
Here is a simple test to detect if the pollution of worry has permeated through your pores or not : just observe your voice when you speak with your life-partner , if it shows the slightest irritation , that means you have let the external criminal enter in to your inner house and create havoc.
if you are not able to show love for someone , that is because worry has colonised your mental space and made peace and blisss as POW (prisonners of war).
You should be always be able to speak without raising your voice if you want to express gentle words.
Because, gentle words to your wife or husband means you are the winner and worry has been defeated. Another important point is even attachement to good things like listening to daily satsangs should not prevent you to take up in priority your daily routine family works with responsability. Give priority to fulfill the needs of your wife before even she tells and explains them in details. You should be aware of all needs of all persons who depend upon you in some way or other. In that way, you should give all your attention to cater to the daily needs (going to shopping, helping your child with her homework etc ) and then if at all you have time, then you can listen to, say satsangs or read bagavat Gita. But even those good habbits should not be a pretext to avoid your daily duties you should do to your family. If needed , pen down all those "anyakara" of your family and then meditate on them.
So, whenever you speak, do it only after having taken all precautions that your soul and mind had been soaked in the placid pool of peace and bliss and only that mental peace can guarantee and allow gentle words come out of your mouthe.
Until you know you can speak with love and smile , refrain from uttering a word. Isolate yourself and take your own time to calm down but until that moment, don't speak. Until you know that you are capable of gentle words, don' t meet people if it is possible. Cool down completely before speaking to anybody. Be in a state of unclutching. ( PLEASE see satsangs by SWAMI NITHYANANDA on this subject of "unclutching").
Speaking to yourself about something and repeating the same words is worrying. So, repeat to yourself " I stop repeating to myself the same words"; and slowly change that to " I stop speaking to myself ". Then , listen to te silence tat will follow in yor space. This way, you will stop the thought process. Worryng will get subdued drastically.
This way, you would have avoided sowing the seed of divorce in your family by blocking all doors of your mind to worry, one of the causes of family conflicts.
So, go on fulfilling the needs of your family and that will result in more and more love and bondage.
With love , you have peace to do better actions. It is a vertuous cycle.
Your meticulously and carefully preplanned and perfected actions will bring success.
Your success will bring you wealth, love, peace and confidence in you.
When your actions are tailored to bring peace, success and love, what more can you expect from life ?
In that joyful state , all "worries " will take the back door and escape in to the "nothingness".
So, the fundemental mantra is "work for your family first and then only for others. Go on fulfilling carefully all the "anyakara" of your life-partner , then life will work for you to make you free from nagging mental worries.
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